Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A special tribute to my Dad, this Samhain

During this time of the year, as a practitioner (newly) and believer in all the earthly and other-earthly Goddesses and Gods, I know the veil between the dead and the living is thinnest. It is my plan this year to go and spend some time at my father's niche, as close to Samhain (Halloween) as possible, sadly we are not allowed in after 6pm.

I have been speaking with Isis lately, as I was urged to with a most overwhelming sense of urgency starting a few weeks back. and for many of you I have been promising to post something very magical.  I will very soon.  I believe this magic happened at my and Isis' bequest.  Due to this magic.  I am urged to go and have a small ritual with my Dad. I plan on taking a vial of Isis oil that was given to me by a friend, a white candle and a an incantation I have yet to write. I plan on asking for some major guidance  on some major issues going on in my life and in my house.

I know my Father is watching over us all, in his quiet way. As often was his way in life, speaking only after listening and thinking. He was a man of few means  but many talents. A man of NO PRETENSE whatsoever, which is where I believe I get it from. I was not Daddy's little girl. That role fell to my sister, who always claimed to be exactly like him, and the extended family always said so too. In looks she does. That is where it ends. My father never, EVER held a grudge, and had no enemies. Everyone loved my father, EVERYONE.

He was a short man, and had to scheme is way into the navy for WWII. by putting cardboard inside his shoes and tacking extra leather to the bottoms, and then stood on tip toes. (on his 2nd attempt to enlist) They took him :) He honorably served in the North Atlantic on Patrol boats stationed out of New London CT. First the Sardonyx which was originally some "fat Cat's " yacht, and then some other ship.
My father was a printer by trade years later. Though, trained as a "pipe fitter" in the navy like most sailors on ships, if he wanted he could have apprenticed and then become a plumber.

My father grew up during the depression. Things were beyond tight, I can't even imagine. He told us some nights-dinner was a bowl of milk with saltine crackers.  His mother died when he was 5, and his father when he was 12. The oldest living sibling(Dad's sister Helen) took over raising everyone-8 in all, my Dad the baby. He wasn't perfect, he drank a lot of beer and shots  as seemed to be the norm of the men of his day. He also smoked which would eventually be the cause of his demise (COPD and heart issues).

However, he was a WONDERFUL family man and a very hard worker, working sometimes 3 jobs at a time--1 F/T and 2 P/Ts.  Sometimes I feel a bit guilty about this, because of medical bills.  I was born 7 years after my brother (9 after my sister) after the doctor told my mother she had adhesion's on and in her uterus and would not be able to conceive any more children.  I was born with asthma, it didn't show up til I was about 9 months old, but from then on it was a rough and rocky road. they almost lost me twice when I was 16 months old and again at 18 months. then the doctor decided to do allergy testing on my back.
Sure enough, I was allergic to soooo many things, things that were common in homes back then, and some still today(horse hair in mattresses and capon filled pillows and stuffed animals are not the norm today, but they were back then) They had to throw so much stuff out and start with new, they even had to get rids of the 2 cats they had (to this day I still hear about this from my sister)

When I was sick with my asthma or something else while young, my dad would arrive home from work with small gifts for me, not every day, but every time I was sick. Small gifts, but it didn't matter, they meant the world to me...new coloring book, or a new set of paper dolls, later...colorforms, then an outfit for my Barbie. Once I got my spirograph and super spirograph, he was always bringing me home paper from work.

However, in my grown-up years, he seemed distant to me and any problems I may have had, and I believe this was because my sister wore him out with hers. My parents moved to FL for 11 years, and on occasions when I called and asked to speak with him, it would be brief and he'd say, "I'm tired of being on the phone Susan, I just hung up with your sister." We only got down there once to visit, and they got up here twice. Overall, my children grew up not knowing them very well. It hurt, but it was their life, and they had to do what was right for them. I understood that, unlike my older sister who ran into their house one day after learning they sold their house and were moving to FL. and SCREAMED at them for "abandoning her"  This was a woman in her late 30's mind you.

At any rate. I have in my own way, held a small tiny grudge, for him not being there for me in my grown up years, while he was still alive. I know it was mostly because he was old and tired and had his hands full with my sister yakking at him. but sometimes, I really needed to get his counsel. He has been gone since 3/10/2005.  The time is right, to let him know these feelings, and to ask him to help guide whatever he can to aid me now.

I Plan to draw a pentacle with the oil of Isis on his name plate, light a candle, and speak with him, and then have a small incantation asking all the ancestors  and helpful spirits of the underworld to assist my Dad, in assisting me.
so Mote it be.


DonnaMundinger said...

Reading this reminds me so much of my own Daddy. He passed away in 2005 as well, unfortunately from Alzheimers. I wish you well in your endeavors and hope you find what you are seeking. xxD

Sharon Sahl said...

Lovely tribute to your father and I'm struck by the similarities of his story and my mother's. They were of similar generations and I think going through that produced a type of person who reacted to life in much the same way. I've heard it expressed as, "What you are now is what you were then."

Toriz said...

I think that's a wonderful idea for a ritual, and I hope he can offer some guidance!