I haven't done this in a while but this week, soooo warrants it!
Dear son Thomas,
your "temporary room" (due to fire) is looking worse than OSCAR MADISON'S room ON a GOOD DAY!! Please, please and Please....CLEAN IT UP!
Thanks. Love, Mom
Dear husband Ron,
PLEASE start keeping a tool "journal" and mark in it when used last and where you put it. I am soooo tired of hearing you cuss and carry on over not being able to find your tools, and then you go buy new ones. NATURALLY once you do that the other shows up.
Dear oldest daughter April,
I am sorry I wasn't there with you for your surgery, but I am respecting your wishes, AND I have told you time and again I am tired of being abused by you. I am VERY glad that this doctor seems to know what she is doing and was able to straighten the eye, again. Let's hope it never turns again. I am sorry to hear that the surgery was a little worse due to the doctor finding almost double the amount of scar tissue she expected to find. I hope the pain is over soon, and that you'll better about yourself, and you'll believe it was worth the pain and suffering and time away from college etc.
I love you and always will,
Dear youngest daughter Amanda,
IT WAS WONDERFUL to have you home for a short visit. However I really didn't appreciate that you allowed others to cut into our time, and you changing our plans. Please work all plans out in advance for the next visit.
DEAR "shop-rite" cashier,
Thanks for totally Fing forgetting to put 2 bags in my scooter cart, and making me have to come bak for them!!
~disgruntled, disabled shopper
Dear Assinine Self-absorbed Bimbo on the cell phone at the end of the grocery check out,
you were one check diagonally from the door and had your cart out in the exit isle instead of next to the check out area. You did not leave enough room for a disabled person in a scooter cart to make the correct approach as to be able to fit out of the door, causing me to slam my "Non-replaced" knee right into the corner edge of the heavy metal door frame, others noticed and one man asked to help, and I said LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HEAR..."no sir, thank you anyway, it is not me or the cart, it is the fact that that woman has her cart in the wrong spot, which does not allow for the scooter carts to make the wide swing needed to go out the door." I KNOW you heard me, because your cashier heard me, but did you move your cart back? NO, even after I tried backing up again, and bumped into it, you still did not move it, and I headed out the door and slammed my knee again, but pushed through it. It is now 4 days Post "crash" and "I am still paying for it, you stupid Fing bleached blonde bimbo! Try putting the damn cell phone up your butt and see if you can bag your groceries better that way!"
~Just another human being trying to make my way through a store
PS...can't anyone do anything anymore without the phone attached to their heads? JEEZ, how did we ever survive without them?
Dear Sister and your 2 daughters (my nieces),
I heard about "the conversation" you all had last weekend at my expense. How dare you? in front of strangers that do not know me? in front of Mom, you may not love her, but I do, and she loves me....don't you as a mother yourself KNOW that when a parent hears something negative about their child it hurts them? Talk about being self-absorbed! well, you know about Kharma....
Dear Electrician, thanks for still holding us up. It is NOW November. The fire was June 6, we spoke with you around June 25th, you have kept putting this job to the back of your list, you said it wouldn't take long, so why are you still jerking our chain??? we can't even get the window in until you do this. I think perhaps we'll take our business elsewhere, sad considering you have been our electrician for 25 years, and you were the person who actually wired that room, when the addition was put on.
The Guzy Family