Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tuesday--SPECIAL SILVER ANNIVERSARY tips

today is Ron and my 25th wedding anniversary!!  
so where is the silver??  silver bars, silver tea service, silver and diamond jewelry HeHe!!

This is a second marriage for both of us. Ron was one month shy of his 20th anniversary when is divorce was finalized. I had 5.5 years in when my divorce was finalized. We each have a child from our first marriage; he a son-now 46, me a daughter-now 28.  Together we have a son 24.5 and a daughter 23.


anyway, this makes me want to share some marriage tips, and my good humor,  learned and observed during the course of my total 30.5 years of Marriage (and the marriages of those close to me) My Parents were married one month shy of 58 years, when my Dad died.

#1...Never go to bed angry, I always made it a point to sleep on the couch if I was angry. Ron would just go to sleep, which he is very good at, he is a veteran and therefore "I can sleep anywhere"  so he says.

#2... Don't be afraid to share your feelings, your spouse may ignore you, but at least you've shared them.

#3...Watch the Movie "As Good As It Gets" often, it will make your spouse look like a dream come true!!

#4... If you REALLY WANT "permission" (not really the word I would choice but you know) to do something, wait til your spouse is totally engrossed in a  movie, ballgame or working on something equally engrossing...ie. working on the car, up on the roof, something.  They won't really be paying attention, and therefore the answer you will get will be along the lines, of:  sure, whatever, ok, go ahead.

#5... THE COLD SHOULDER really IS an effective tool!

#6...Do NOT use SEX as a WEAPON, nuff said.

#7...if you are NOT in the mood for sex, that's ok  just say it. No need for any tired cliches.

#8...When you ARE in the mood for sex, go ALL in -  no one likes being with someone who is one step away from a robot or a corpse.

#9...Food REALLY is (one) way to a Man's heart, but be careful as that can be literal also, ie. cholesterol etc.

#10...Romance and Affection REALLY is the main way to a woman's heart--Making her Laugh is a very close second

#11...EVERY COUPLE fights over money, unless they are The Gates!

#12...Anything and everything YOU believe is wrong in your spouse teach that sex of your children what to do and what not to do...example:  Ron does not Dance, I have drilled it into my son's head that women like to Dance.

#13...Anything you see bad in your children's relationships (prior to marriage) if it is becoming an issue that you notice, TALK to your child about it. example: The boyfriend who NEVER seems to have gas in his car, or the car is always not running, and therefore your daughter is the constant taxi driver, No way GF!!  or the Girlfriend who ONLY wants you to come to her place and never viceversa-hey your son has family also.

#14...after seeing the above...once married do NOT meddle in the affairs of your children, unless they come to you, or unless there is abuse going on.

#15...NONE of us is perfect, try to see the whole picture, view your husband's(or wife's) family and upbringing, realize the source for some of their behavior and accept it.

#16... NEVER put the children in an AUTOMATIC "first" slot, remember it was just the 2 of you before the kids, and they grow and leave and it will be just the 2 of you again...if you only invested in each other prior to the children, and not at all during the children years, you will be left staring at each other as strangers.

#17...do NOT let anyone convince you that two people with 2 totally different spiritual or religious views can truly have a good marriage, it is NOT true, there will be continued conflicts year after year, not to mention it is not fair to the children, and actually confusing for them.

#18...Marry someone who feels the same way about holidays that you do, TRUST ME, nuff said

#19...No matter how much your man tells you he can fix up that older home you go to look at when home shopping, DON'T DO IT, DON'T DO IT, DON'T DO IT!!

#20...When your spouse does some small thing to be helpful or just to make you smile, ACKNOWLEDGE IT!

#21...Do NOT be afraid to teach your spouse something that is usually "woman's" or "Man's" work, you might be pleasantly surprised.  Ron is a good cook, he can also bake. I have no trouble with MOST power tools, and even have my own chainsaw.

#22...Be Parents to the children, not friends(they have their own)...at least til they are 21

#23...Make sure your children see the family as a team, needing all it players. CHORES are important and set them up properly for a life they know will take work.

#24...There is nothing wrong with corporeal punishment as warranted, but there is a thin line of what can easily be  "too much"  example: my teenage daughter is fighting with me over something and calls me an F___ing Bitch, she will be getting her mouth smacked!

#25...ALWAYS be supportive of your spouse's Hobbies, Plans and dreams! This includes time away from each other, which is healthy!  No one wants to be smothered.

8 comments:

Mother's Moon's Message said...

Congrats hope the both of you have a wonderful day togethr...

McCrafty said...

Congratulation! I wish you very best!

Wendy said...

Oh Congrats, Sue! I love the helpful tips you wrote. When I am in a relationship that I just feels right and looks like we're in for the long haul, I"m going to remember these. So happy you found a partner who has stood by you and loved you in the sunnier times as well as the stormy. Ready for the "30 Posts..."? ;)

Faerie Sage said...

Thanks for all the wonderful tips, so many are so true in my own experience! Cant wait for the kids part, after the next few years will be the start of that for me.

Sara said...

those are some great tips. I hope we make it to our silver anniversary. We only got married in June this year. Hugs Sara

Neroli said...

Wise Words!! Happy Anniversary to you both!!! I am very much looking forward to my own 25th Anniversary (in 20 years :)

BrendaLea, the Prpldy said...

Congrats to you both, I wish you many, many more happy years together.

I also received your wonderful package of goodies. So many fun things to play with. I now I have been away, I am not been feeling very well and haven't been spending mufh time on-line. Hope to be back real soon with my giveaways, etc.

Love and hugs to you both,
BrendaLea

Lynn Stevens said...

Oh these are words to live by! been married 30 years now ourselves. Congrats to you and your hubby!

Thanks Susan for posting my giveaway and best of luck!
hugs Lynn