Monday, December 6, 2010

30 days of 8

today I am to write about >>   
Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
 this is quite a list, really, and I will not totally elaborate on what they did or didn't do, just a rough idea

 My X-husband...abusive, in many ways
 My Late MIL...meddling, miserable depressed woman who refused to even try to live a life or get meds for herself, she lived with us for 10 years, the 2nd 5- I was her caregiver, the last year it was nearly round the clock.
 Co-workers at my last job, where I got disabled...not all of them in the radiology dept, but for sure 3out of the other 4 in our MRI dept. They did everything in there power to make me feel like an outsider from day one.
**My 2 youngest children, mostly my son... he has severe ADHD and ODD, and as an adult I swear he very may well be a sociopath, he even says so. not violent, but he is not sympathetic, or anything he does only for him, and has a "what's in it for me attitude" the other is ADHD (as am I)  but raising them was a FULL TIME job on it's own and then some. they are 14 months apart. My son was non-stop, you couldn't give an idea...the year he was 3, we went through 8 babysitters, and I only needed a sitter for 2.5 hours  Mon.-Fri.  but I DO LOVE THEM BOTH VERY MUCH!
MY Current Husband... nasty diabetic mood swings, not as social as i would like him top be. sometimes I really feel like I wasted 25 years of my life. I know that seems like a horrible thing to say, but I have my reasons, again I LOVE HIM with ALL my heart and I KNOW we are each other's soul mates, but being soul mates doesn't mean your life is going to be perfect. 
 My Oldest daughter...on and off for the last 10 years has been through so many life changes and attitude changes and is basically estranged from all of her family, and when we do try to reach out, she basically spits in our faces. Everything that is wrong, or has gone wrong in her life, she blames on me and her step dad and her Dad and step-mom. 
Certain members of my extended family... no details on this.
The GOD I was raised to believe in...has time and again not answered prayers, prayers made for 16 years and 18 years, Prayers that he should have had no reason not to answer, they would be pleasing to him, basically to save 2 people I love, to make them seek him out etc.  Not to mention for being a NON-PUNISHING God.  I am seeing a lot of punishment. this has been my position since 2005 and it heightened in 2007, when my great-niece daisy was born (see about her on my side bar)   things continued to go downhill, which is why i have walked away from him.
 In my life now-
I'd like to say that since becoming disabled, my family has been increasingly belligerent at times towards me, and speak over me sometimes like I am not there, or treat me less than human.  Husband and son worse than youngest daughter. I also believe it has gotten worse since our son has moved home.  

Did I mention he is the reason we had a house fire (it was accidental but because of him)  he also totaled our new truck back in 2004 because he did not follow my husband's instructions of "leave as soon as you see a flake fall"...we were due snow that night, and he hadn't any experience driving in snow and ice yet. He was at "the game shop" playing "Magic the gathering" and though it had started snowing he didn't want to walk out on a game, and sure enough a mile from the house he hit some ice, and HIT THE BRAKES...waaay wrong thing to do, and he spun around 3 times and ended up against the trees on the other side of the road, luckily, he had just turned onto the road and hadn't built up much speed, so he wasn't hurt, the airbag didn't even deploy, but he totally squashed the entire passenger side of the truck. We only had it a few years. It hurts to say it, but he seems to ruin much of what he touches.


1 comment:

Wendy said...

I'm so sorry Sue that the people that you really need the most right now aren't there for you in a way that's loving and supportive. I'm currently dealing with son issues as well, and as much as I love him, I'm not liking him right now. I hope you find some peace and courage about what actions to take about your current marriage. Life is way too short to be stuck in such an unhappy place. Sending you blessings and hugs.